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For those Minnesota Star Wars fans out there, a galaxy far, far away just got a lot closer. The creative visionary and genius behind such fantastic storylines like Empire Strikes Back, stellar characters like Han Solo, and inappropriate nerd/geek/fanboy fantasies surrounding a certain female character in a certain bronze and gold bikini has been spotted in the Twin Cities. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am talking about
God George Lucas.
He was spotted Saturday night taking in a screening of Men in Black III at ShowPlace ICON in St. Louis Park, above w/ a theater manager, and then at LouAnn’s diner in downtown Minneapolis this morning, with his partner Mellody Hobson and a mysterious younger man. [Editor’s Note; We at TCS tried to get the receipt for his omelet, but he paid in cash, and tipped $10 on the $25 tab.] Side note: I just watched MIB III… Don’t discount it. Surprisingly moving and well written. Seriously. I am not messing with you. Go see it if you like MIB. Or if you like Will Smith. Who am I kidding? Who doesn’t like Will Smith? You’d have to be a complete… Sorry. I got excited there for a second. Back on topic.
Conspiracy theorists (by which I mean me) have been racking their brains to figure out what brings Georgie to the Twin Cities. Clearly it is something more sinister than spending some of his floppity jillion dollars, earned by first creating three worthy movies and then completely selling out plot and story line to make “family friendly” characters (*cough* Jar Jar f*cking Binks *cough*) in order to sell more toys, on a weekend joyride to Minnesota. Here are the top three theories as to why George Lucas is in the Twin cities, as picked by our readers (again, I really just mean me) —
Theory 1) He is location scouting for the newly announced Star Wars video game currently called Star Wars 1313. In the game, the player takes on the role of a bounty hunter. An inside source at LucasArts (nope, jk, just me again) told me about a level where the bounty hunter arrives on a new planet. Half snow, half shit ton of lakes, the planet presents some novel game play changes. Unlike most first and third person shooting games, while on this planet the bounty hunter, and player, must deal with a surprisingly nice, polite, albeit cliquey populace.
Theory 2) After hearing about its successful remodeling of its tiger exhibit, George came to Minnesota to discuss revealing his next great Star Wars contribution at the Minnesota Zoo. After over 20 years of genetic research, the world is about to get its pants blown off. When you first saw this creature in the movies, somewhere deep down inside you knew you wanted one, regardless of its smell. Now, finally, you can have the next best thing! If talks work out you can head to the Minnesota Zoo in November to see newly created company LucasAnimal reveal a pair of real, live Tauntauns! The will likely be located next to the polar bears.
Theory 3) George Lucas just really, really, really likes Will Smith and all the showings of MIB III on the West Coast were sold out.
If I were a gambling man, I’d put my credits on the last one… Good day, and may the force be with you.
Manuel Sanchez-Moyano is a self proclaimed pretty awesome guy. An accountant by day, and a charming funny guy by night. To hear some more of his random thoughts, follow him on Twitter @Auto_Manuel.